Remembering what I want

Yeah, I am trying not to make this blog hokey, but I may write about sensitive things that I am not even comfortable putting into words in my own head, sigh.

So....here goes

I have to restrain myself from prefacing many of my thoughts with "this may sound lame, but...". I remind myself that any time I have made a major shift in how I think about a particular issue/belief structure/expectation, I experience resistance, and that "lame" phrase is one of the ways I express that.

That phrase acts as a dismissal of the recognition of the need to change, or my desire for something specific - lessening them somehow.

I have found that - tho it is challenging at first - focusing on what I do want, spending some time each day "experiencing" what - do want (visualizing, imagining, putting myself into a meditative state where I feel as if I ALREADY have what I want & am the way I want to be) I bring those qualities into my life.

The initial hard part is changing the current negative flow of thinking.

Way back when I first started making these changes - and suceeding - I was changing things that were mostly outside of myself, and I was able to leverage some strengths. Now, tho, I am starting to work on some internal very painful things that I can't even say out loud to my own self.

Thinking about saying it blinds me with tears and chokes me.

So, that is my new goal: I will allow myself to say outloud what is holding me back. Then I can start changing how I think.

Whew! G-nite!
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Focusing on what I want to draw into my experience

I have a potentially major change coming up - hopefully within the next couple of months. As I was driving home from work I was thinking of all the reasons that are driving me away from my current situation and towards the new more desirable situation. Rationalizing why what I have needs to change.

I after a few moments of mental ranting, and starting to feel like I was "escaping" a bad situation, it occurred to me that I should be looking at all the reasons that are drawing me towards the new situation. In reality I am currently doing well and have no need to "escape".

I am looking forward to the benefits that would come to me with the change, and making sure that the +'s and the -'s are in a ratio that I can accept and prosper with.

First entry

Hello...anybody there? This is my first entry via my BB.
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stuff

Ummm.....Its like....yeah....I got nuthin.
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